.. title: THEY'LL NEVER GET ME
.. slug: theyll-never-get-me
.. date: 2026-09-08 14:21:00 UTC-07:00
.. tags:
.. category:
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.. description:
.. type: text

.. image:: /images/morgan-angry.jpg
    :alt: Angry Morgan

I, John Pierpont Morgan, do declare that I have never in my considerable life required a receipt, for the universe itself keeps ledger of what is rightfully mine. This morning I purchased a small European nation before breakfast, folded it neatly into my coat pocket, and proceeded to stare so intensely at a junior banker that he spontaneously combusted into a dividend.